Rediscovering You: Navigating the Loss of Identity in Motherhood

Motherhood is one of the most beautiful and challenging journeys I’ve ever been on. The love I feel for my children is indescribable; it's pure, unconditional, and overwhelming in the best way. But being a mom also brought moments when I felt like I was losing myself, buried under the roles of caregiver, teacher, chef, chauffeur, therapist, and mediator. There were days when I hardly recognized the woman in the mirror because I was so consumed by the demands of motherhood. I poured everything into my children, but somewhere along the way, I forgot to save some of that love and care for myself.

I know what it’s like to feel disconnected from who you used to be. It happened slowly, and I didn’t even realize it at first. I was so focused on keeping everything together for everyone else that I neglected my own needs, passions, and dreams. I thought being a good mama meant sacrificing close to every part of myself and putting myself last. But as time went on, I started to feel lost. I missed parts of myself, my own interests, goals, and passions.

It took a while, but I eventually realized that I didn’t have to choose between being a loving mother and being true to myself. I didn’t need to sacrifice my happiness and the things I loved to do to be a good mom. In fact, I learned that when I took time to nurture my own spirit, it actually made me a better mama. I had more patience, more energy, and more love to give to myself and my 3 sons. I started with small steps—reconnecting with things that brought me joy, giving myself permission to dream again, to rest, to care for myself, and to create self-care routines that I could stick to even on the busiest days.

I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way. If you’re reading this, maybe you’ve been feeling lost or overwhelmed too. Maybe you’ve forgotten what it feels like to do something just for you, without guilt. I want you to know that it’s okay to want more, and it’s okay to take up space. You don’t have to give up who you are to be a great mama.

The truth is, we are so much more than our roles. We’re still women with our own passions, talents, and dreams, even if they’ve been tucked away for a while. It’s okay to let those parts of yourself shine again. You deserve to feel alive, vibrant, and fulfilled—not just as a mother, but as the incredible woman you are. I’ve come to learn that nurturing myself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. It’s how I stay connected to my own joy and how I show my children what it means to live a full and happy life.

So if you’re struggling to find yourself amidst the chaos, know that you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and I’m here to tell you that you can find your way back. Take small steps to rekindle your passions. Let yourself dream. Find time for the things that light you up. You don’t have to wait until your children are grown to prioritize your happiness. You can start now, even if it’s just in the smallest of ways.

Motherhood is a huge part of who we are, but it’s not all we are. We’re allowed to grow, to evolve, and to be our own people. To be quirky, silly, sassy, sexy and even outrageous! You are worthy of living a life that feels good to you, not just for everyone else. Embrace every facet of who you are and celebrate this journey. There’s so much more waiting for you beyond the roles you play. It’s time to rediscover yourself and live a life that feels true to your heart.